


Gold rush

by TheBecky



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29240265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBecky/pseuds/TheBecky
Summary: this song reminded me of rolivia and this idea came to me. I hope y'all like it :)
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins
Kudos: 13





	Gold rush

I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush  
I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch

She hates herself for getting so flustered around her. She is her boss for crying out loud, it’s not like anything could ever happen between them. Besides, Olivia probably had men lining up in hopes of getting to know the beautiful badass captain. As if Olivia would give any of them the time of her day, she is way too good for any of them. She knows she sounds jealous and like she has a crush on her, but that’s not what it is. It’s just admiration for the woman she had read so many good things about and who she has now got to know and become good friends with. It’s just that, is what she keeps telling herself.

Walk past, quick brush  
I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush

Every touch feels like a tiny show of fireworks in her tummy and all over her skin. She noticed lately how Olivia has become more comfortable around her, more comfortable showing affection. A squeeze on her shoulder, a brush of hands on her back or a warm hug that feels like home somehow. Every time it happens she thinks how desperately she wants to just kiss her and show her how much she actually means to her. She can admit to herself now that it’s more than admiration that she feels for her boss. She just doesn’t know if Liv feels the same. Although it may be just her wishful thinking, but things between them do feel different lately…

I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors  
With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

She spends more time at Olivia’s place than her own, so much so that she already has hers and her kids clothes and toothbrushes there ready for when they stay over. Jesse has her favorite stuffed animal ready in Noah’s room and little Billie has a travel crib set aside in a corner of Olivia’s room. Even Frannie has her own corner in the living room with a fuzzy blanket and a few toys as well. The kids play and fight like siblings, Noah having already declared that Jesse and Billie are his little sisters, taking on a proud big brother role. Olivia and her didn’t want to correct him knowing it would break his little heart. Even though both of them won’t admit it, it feels like they’re a family, the two of them and the kids. She quite likes the domesticity of it, much to her own surprise. She thinks Liv likes it too by the way she is around her. Liv often snuggles up to her when it’s just the two of them watching old sitcoms after the kids are asleep. They find themselves tangled up in the morning in bed more times than they would want to admit. They sometimes even hold hands while out in the park with the kids. 

I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush

Home and work are different worlds though. At home they can be the little family they created and enjoy the domestic bliss, while at work she has to hide the fact that Liv’s the one she goes home to, the one she snuggles up with and falls asleep with, the one she gets up with at night to feed Billie. Liv is good at acting like the home life doesn’t even exist, so good that it makes her doubt herself. It makes her doubt every little touch and smile, wondering if maybe she made it all up in her head and it’s all just friendly interactions that her head turned into something more. She knows that Liv has to act professionally at work and even if there was something going on between them, they would have to hide it, but it just makes her feel crazy thinking it all really is just wishful thinking. 

Eyes like sinking ships  
On waters so inviting  
I almost jump in

She knows she has to get in front of it before it swallows her whole. She can’t physically hide the fact that she has fallen so deeply and madly in love with this woman anymore. So, one evening after Carisi and Fin have left for the day, like most of the people in the office, she walks up to Liv’s office. She knows it may be a bit weird to confess her undying love for her boss in her office, but she knows it’s the one place they will have peace and quiet to talk. She gently knocks as she watches Liv lift her head up from the paperwork in front of her and give her a tiny smile.  
“Hey, is everything okay? I thought everyone already left for the day” Liv asks, and she shifts in her place before walking over to her desk.  
“Honestly, no, everything is not okay Liv. I am going crazy trying to figure you, and whatever this thing going on between us, out” she can see her take a deep breath and stiffen in her chair.  
“Amanda…”  
“No, Liv, stop, I need to get this out because I can’t take this anymore. I am in love with you and you know that! We spend every day together and most nights cuddled up in your bed. I have basically moved into your place and I think of it as home. Our kids already think of each other as siblings and Billie has even called you mama. I know you are afraid of the kids getting hurt and so am I, but not talking about this whole situation is only going to make it worse for them.” she stops for a moment to ground herself before she continues.  
“Liv… I love you, I am so madly in love with you. I want to be with you and be a family together, but I need to know if you want that too. I know there are rules, and we shouldn’t be together, but when have I ever followed the rules?” she chuckles trying to lighten the mood as both of them are feeling the heaviness of conversation. Olivia is now standing, bracing herself as she takes all of Amanda’s words in.  
“Amanda… You know we can’t be together, I’m your boss and...”  
“That’s bullshit and you know it Liv! Why is it so wrong to admit your feelings for me? Why is it so wrong for you to want this?” she asks as she gestures between them with her hand.  
“Amanda… I don’t…”  
“Oh my god” it feels like her whole world is crashing down. “I really am crazy, I made it all up in my head and now I attacked you and holy shit. Liv, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on you like that and assume that this was something more. You don’t like me that way and….” before she can utter another word a pair of soft lips crashes onto hers as strong arms pull her in. They kiss slowly and passionately until they both need air, looking into each other’s eyes as they pull away. Liv caresses her cheek with her hand and smiles softly at the confusion written all over Amanda’s face.  
“Amanda, honey, I never said I didn’t feel the same way. I am so sorry for making you doubt yourself like that. It’s just hard admitting that I love you because truthfully, I have never felt this way about anyone. You make me feel things I have never felt before. I know you are the one for me and for me that is quite frankly the most terrifying thing. I am just so afraid of losing you, losing this, our little family, that I have been pushing you away because I thought that way it would hurt me less if I lost you. I am so sorry for ever making you feel like I didn’t feel the same way, because trust me I definitely do.” she looks at Amanda with tears clouding her vision hoping that she hasn’t fully screwed up one of the best things in her life.  
“Liv, what are you trying to say?” she asks with hopefulness in her voice while looking up at her with those beautiful blue eyes.  
“What I’m trying to say is, Amanda, will you be my girlfriend? I want to make this work, for us and for our little family. I am so in love with you and our family that I don’t give a damn about the rules. I want you to be the one I come home to, to raise our kids with and to grow old with. So, what do you say? Are you in?” she was still holding Amanda in her arms and could only hope she never had to let go.  
“Yes, yes, god Liv, I am in” she exclaimed as she threw herself around Liv and kissed her like all those times she wanted to but never could. Now she could do it whenever she wanted and the thought of that was enough to make her giddy.  
After sharing a few more kisses they decided to stop before things got too heated for the office and packed up to go home. Home, where Noah, Jesse and Frannie ran to greet them with the biggest hugs and kisses and baby Billie squealed at the sight of her mommies. Home, where they ate together while they listened as Jesse and Noah told them about their exciting day at school and showed them a drawing they made together. A drawing of Olivia and Amanda holding hands with mama and mommy written over their figures and Noah, Jesse, Billie and Frannie standing next to them. Amanda looked at Olivia with tears in her eyes and words weren’t needed as she looked into those beautiful brown eyes. She was in, in for whatever life threw at them, knowing they would always have each other, no matter what.


End file.
